hm

so my mom messed me up, oh well
since 3years up at 3…AM
just to be left in the kindergarden
all alone with my thoughts and this ma’am

my dad wasnt better, oh well
showed me stuff noone should have, dont tell
ignored family just to stare at the tel.
the bad food made his belly swell

okay my parents fucked up, i get it
its obvious they didnt mean it
but to be honest they couldnt recieve it
if i would tell them the way that i see it

cause honestly, love, you cant fake that
if you dont want a third kid then just save that
put the attention in two, and make sure that they do
everything in their life to be great at.

life is not perfect

my dreams keep messing me up
the scars are confessing the cut

my normal dayrhythm is fucked
i wake up and start smoking buds

cant cope if im not feeling drugged
cant move on cause inside im just stuck

still remember the day that it struck
not able to love, i fucking suck

i wonder if i may got mugged
of love tho i wanna be hugged

by you and your beatiful butt
in a warm blanket, real cozy and tucked.

sober

theres a pull on my heart
i dont know what to do
its dragging me down
always thinking of you

cant write bout anything new
because im still feeling blue
these last few weeks, they just flew
and took me down like the flu

but this flu wasnt so easy
not just the type „i feel sneezy“
more like the type „i got injured“
and now my heart is really hurt

im reall trying to get over
but i dont want to get over
since ive been high on your love
know i will never be sober.

Shock

my heart again to shreds
i never did expect
to find this package out on the floor
and within its contents

you were here not long ago
maybe an hour or so
you were careful to be quiet
so i wont open up my door

i dont think you want to talk
or else i wouldve got a message
i think you did close your lock
and wont let me walk down this passage

so now i have my hoodies back
and within a strange sensation
the shock was like a big flashback
to the day we ended our relation.

lonely

Love is unconditional
i dont know what to do
im lonely and im miserable
what im missing is you

cant sleep, cant eat, cant even drink
im just laying in bed
my brain wont stop, the whole day thinks
bout you with him instead

its not the thought of you with him
its just the thought of you
not here with me, my life is grim
have no friends to talk to

maybe i would but i dont know
why i dont want their help
sometimes i think im an asshole
that frightens, by whom he could be held.

now im awake a new day starts
the same shit for weeks on
living happy is an art
my will to live seems kinda gone.

moving

its hard to accept
the fact that its dead
but you blocked me away
so theres no room to stay

ill move out of your way
so that you can someday
find the right man
and hold on to his hand

no part of my plan
i now do understand
ill leave you alone
wont come back, oh no

living life, moving on
tho the feelings still strong
you just didnt love me
i must stop holding on.

Attachment

if i would have just one more chance
id give my all on that

cant stand the fact that you are gone
i still feel so attached

i dream of you, in every night
even there you did get snatched

by a guy whos name, i dont want to say
he is why we got dettached

i feel alone, here in my home
i hope you wont stay gone

still feel you here inside my arms
am i slowly moving on?

phony

i want to know what youre doing
my heart just wont stop
asking me all these questions
on how i fucked up

or why i fucked up
i said can you drop
or do you have suggestions?
i think its because you did not learn your lesson.

cause last time you were
in a relationship
it was too damn toxic
you could not handle it

so you did turn bitter
no love to be seen
you gotta go fix it
and break this routine

or you will be lonely
forever a phony
learning to love myself
my own speed, go slowly

cause there aint no rushing
my whole life to be had
tho would i have been faster,
your love id now have.

happy for you

i dreamt that we met
and you wanted to talk
well, so we did
while taking a walk

everything that you said
was calm and in rhyme
everything that i said
was panik and crying

okay not really panik
although almost crying
because i have feelings
that i cant deny

i said you dont need me
you got someone new
you just smiled and laughed
im happy for you

but happy for you
is not happy for me
seems like i keep swimming
but my tears are the sea.

i keep deleting things..

ive lost another text
i dont like to feel stressed
it could make me upset
and i wouldnt want that

ill write another text
to make up for the lost one
the feelings for the one gone
will never be undone

i feel like i am pressed
to sit and write when i come
to find new words that i want
for this lovesong remains unsung

i wrote another text
to make space in head and heart
wonder who i’ll meet next
someone who too shares art?

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